Chapter 874: A poor performance (1)
Lu Xin and number eight fell silent as they looked at Lu, who had woken up at some point.
They could see teacher Lu’s guilt and the torture in her heart.
However, they stood at two different points of view, and neither of them understood nor could they understand.
The children in the orphanage were divided into three types:
The first type were those who had died but were brought back to life. For example, number eight had a different attitude and feelings towards Lu Xin, who had killed them in the past. The other type were those who had already died. They had already lost consciousness, but there were still people who felt sorry for them.
There was another kind, which was Lu …
She survived, but she became disabled. She used to run so fast, but now she could no longer run.
She should be the one in the most pain …
That was why number eight had come to her, because she was the most suitable person to file a lawsuit.
However, she now felt that she was the sinner.
Moreover, were these emotions real?
..
..
“I …”
Teacher Lu mustered up her courage and looked at Lu Xin.
It was as if she found it difficult to look Lu Xin in the eye.
Furthermore, Lu Xin could only see a small amount of fear in her eyes, but more of it was guilt and sadness.
I actually knew all along …
She said in a low voice, but she did not say what she knew.
As if he was trying hard to sort out his chaotic thoughts, he slowly raised his head to look at number eight and said, ” you said that you wanted to seek justice for the children of the orphanage. You were right. They shouldn’t have been forgotten just like that. However, you shouldn’t have gone to Lu Xin …
it’s true, because I was the one who came up with the escape plan at that time …
“If it wasn’t for me, how could we have failed to escape? how could this have happened?” she answered with difficulty.
“..”
Lu Xin and number eight fell into a deep silence.
They were not surprised by this answer.
They naturally knew who had proposed the escape plan back then, because they had all been involved in it.
However, in the face of teacher Lu’s deep self-blame, even number eight could not show an attitude of agreement. When teacher Lu said these words, he could not help but shake his head. Although he did not know how to refute these words, he did not agree at all.
If the escape plan failed, then the person who proposed the escape plan was guilty?
Of course, this was wrong.
No one could question such a person …
..
..
no, there are many things you don’t know …
Just as Lu Xin and number eight were about to deny it, teacher Lu shook her head and stopped them from speaking. She said in a low voice, ” it’s not as simple as you think. I should be responsible for all of this …
at that time, I was just a person who stole food everywhere in the chaotic city …
“I don’t even know when I’ll starve to death.”
that … That orphanage was like a nightmare to you, but to me, it’s like heaven.
I can only eat my fill there.. can even eat such sweet chocolate that. didn’t even dare to think about before. I can even be like those children from rich families, sitting in the classroom reading, writing, and wearing clean clothes …
“..”
Lu Xin and number eight remained silent while listening to teacher Lu’s explanation.
Her words seemed to bring back the memories of that period of time, causing one to involuntarily sink into them.
you tell me, such a good life, what was I not satisfied with at that time …
Teacher Xiaolu spoke slowly and her voice trembled.”I don’t even know why I said that back then, I … I’ve been with you all, and I know that this is the best life, but I always tell you about life outside on purpose. It’s like I’m showing off, telling you how big the outside world is and how free it is …”
She couldn’t help but lower her voice when she said this.
After a long time, she said in a low voice, ” I didn’t know at that time what kind of desire my meaningless bragging represented in the eyes of those children who looked clean on the surface but had to suffer all kinds of experiments almost every day behind their backs …
then, an escape plan appeared …
“The person who accurately suggested this escape plan was me.”
As she spoke, she couldn’t help but shake her head.”But in fact, the one who really wanted to escape was not me.”
“I don’t need to do any experiments, so why would I want to run away?”
long before I brought it up, or rather, long before I started to use lies to show off meaninglessly, many older children in the orphanage had already thought of it. I just discovered their thoughts and was the first to bring it up …
“I even felt like a little hero when I saw the needle holes and knife wounds on your bodies.”
“..”
As Lu Xin and number eight listened to her story, they were also confused.
Even they had almost forgotten what had happened before the escape plan was realized.
At that time, everything seemed to have happened naturally and logically.
Too many children felt the pain from the torture of endless experiments.
As they grew up day by day, they gradually realized how strong they were.
Although they were young, they had not really developed the idea of rebelling against those adults.
However, the thought of running away became clearer and clearer in his heart.
They wanted to leave the orphanage and escape the eternal torture and experiments.
Everything that had happened seemed to have been destined.
Who would still remember exactly how this idea came to be at that time, and how they were certain …
Teacher Lu actually remembered …
She could remember it so clearly, as if she had not forgotten a single thing.
Perhaps, because of the children’s subtle competitiveness, she had lied to them about the beauty of the outside world. Perhaps, she did feel like a hero, because she could save these children from the pain and get out of this sea of suffering …
But could all these be considered as mistakes?
..
..
after that, the escape plan was confirmed among a group of children.
Teacher Xiaolu seemed to be panting for a long time before she slowly opened her mouth again.”But it wasn’t so many people who wanted to escape at first. It was the older children. They decided to escape, and they didn’t want to take the younger children with them. Because they are young and insensible, it is almost impossible to escape from the heavily guarded orphanage with them …”
“But …”
Her voice trembled as she continued with difficulty, “”But I stopped them.”
I’m very brave. I’m really brave. I really think that I was the smartest one among you at that time …
I want them to take everyone and escape. That’s how they look like heroes.
“Other than these kids, I even, I even insisted on Lu Xin … Bring number nine along.”
“..”
This was the first time she had addressed Lu Xin as “number nine.”
When she said these two words, she raised her head slightly. Her eyes were filled with indescribable self-blame and fear.
those older children actually didn’t intend to bring you along because they were all afraid of you …
Teacher Lu explained to Lu Xin with some difficulty, ” in many people’s eyes, you’re even more afraid than the orphanage …
Lu Xin listened in silence before nodding his head.
He naturally remembered what had happened in the orphanage. The more sensible and older a person was, the more afraid they would be of him.
Therefore, only ordinary people like teacher Lu and the three little ones would be close to her.
As for himself … He didn’t seem to be close to anyone.
The world back then, in his eyes, had only been filled with curiosity and estrangement.
“But I insisted that they bring you along.”
Teacher Lu said slowly, her eyes full of guilt.
but it’s not because it’s noble, really …
She seemed to have mustered the greatest courage to say these words, ” I had to bring you along because I knew that the older children were afraid of you. I was close to you, so I brought you along. That was why the older children would listen to me, I …
I even asked you in front of them if you would really take us away and if you would listen to me …
when you agreed with a smile and the older children didn’t dare to answer, I was so happy …
they finally don’t dare to leave us behind. They don’t even dare to say that they want to give up on their escape plan …
“..”
Number eight’s eyes gradually became dazed.
Teacher Xiaolu’s words seemed to be telling them something that they had already known.
However, as the person involved, he felt more and more confused as he listened to the content of her story …
Lu Xin fell silent as well. He sat quietly in the dimly lit office, his entire being in a very strange state.
“You all know what happened after that …”
Teacher Xiaolu gently touched her face and said in a low voice, “”No one has ever blamed me.”
everyone looked at me with regret and sympathy, as if I was the one who was hurt the most …
“But …”
“I’m the one who has let everyone down …” She said in a sobbing tone.
all of this started because of me. Your pain started because of me. All of the children’s deaths started because of me. Everything that you’re carrying started because of me. I’m the one who released the monster in your heart. I’m the one who messed up everything.
for so many years, the one who has been afraid to tell you the truth is still me …
“..”
She looked at Lu Xin with tears streaming down her face. The countdown timer quickly rolled down and hit zero in an instant.”I’m sorry, number nine …”
actually … Actually, I’ve always known what you’re like …
I’ve known for so many years, but I just didn’t dare to admit it …
because as long as I admit it, it means that I really screwed up the things that happened back then …
that’s why I’ve always refused to admit it. I’ve always stubbornly believed that you were a gentle child in the orphanage …
but now, I can’t lie to myself anymore …
“..”
“Is that so?”
Lu Xin was confused by Lu’s words.
In his heart, an unusually complicated emotion suddenly appeared. He felt very sad and very painful.
Something that he had been holding on to all this time seemed to have shattered in an instant.
He had been working hard, trying his best to live his life, and trying his best to convey to others that he was normal and that he had improved.
He thought that his acting was very good and had deceived everyone, but the point was, he had deceived her.
In order to deceive her, he didn’t want to say it even though he knew that she had misunderstood.
That was why he admitted that he had a problem in front of her and tried to cure himself.
But only now did he understand.
It turned out that his efforts were useless, and he had been performing a poor and ridiculous performance.
..
..
BOOM!
At the same time, outside the school compound, there was a sudden violent tremor. The entire city seemed to be shaking. The next moment, the screams of the crowd came from afar. Everyone looked up in fear and saw a pair of red eyes in the sky. The pair of eyes was so close to qingang, hanging in the sky, looking down at qingang city with a cold expression.
They hung in the sky together with the Crimson Moon, making it look like there were three Crimson moons.
